Nostalgic for naija life

Getting around: bolekaja (cargo trucks), okada (scooters/bikes). I hate danfo.

Everyday people: obioma (seamsters), madam put (roadside eatery), gate man (security)

Food: nkwobi, obacha and palm oil, real ogiri smell, goat head pepper soup, real ewedu and amala – not the processed crap you find here, Agabalumo fruit, road side food like pear, corn and suya!

Places: Victoria Island, Lekki Beach, Ajao Estate, Festac

‘Normal’ things we do: killing goats and chickens in the backyard, haggling in the market, fetching water from the next door neighbor’s bore-hole, playing ten-ten, playing team hopscotch on wet sand

Celebrations: Ji Ofuo (New Yam Festival), Id-Il-Fitri (no school plus our Muslim neighbors give us a lot of ram meat), thanksgiving at church, Boxing Day (day after Christmas)

Sounds: Muslim call to prayer at 5 a.m., conductors shouting destinations, hawkers shouting out wares, Harmattan wind in December, fights in face-me-I-face-you (one-room apartments)

Things I am not so fond of: fetching water, washing dishes in the backyard, washing clothes in the freezing Harmattan morning, walking to the market and NOT coming back with what my mother wanted, getting mugged in the market, cooking, (at the time was a pain, now I love it…thank goodness for kitchen gadgets), being dropped off for catechism while my siblings went out to Federal Palace Hotel or Bar Beach, my brothers hogging the TV (which explains why I always have two TVs), waking up at 5 a.m. for early Sunday mass.

Things I miss doing: having akara or moimoi and ogi after mass, having rice and stew for lunch on Sundays, enjoying a rare “serve yourself” (buffet) my father hosted for the entire family including the boy-boys, maids, uncles, aunts, cousins, next door neighbors, in fact anyone who walked in the door, going on family outings

 Feel free to add yours in the comments box.

 

Americanized = Bad? Mechie onu!

Remember my first post about having two mistresses?  Correct me if I am wrong, but I think one of the worst things you can do to me to call me Americanized.  Especially if you do it while I am visiting naija.  I hate being called that cus it makes me feel like a sell-out and I over compensate.  I remember my last trip home for my sister’s traditional wedding.  I got up early everyday (odd, since I am sooooo not a morning person), did all the chores I could get my hands on, volunteered for more, did not eat until everyone had eaten.  In fact, I was the perfect daughter/sister/niece/cousin/relative/pest.  I knew people were watching me, waiting for a flaw so they could pounce and call me Americanized.  My father confirmed this  by calling me months later extolling my virtues and telling me how people were surprised that I was visiting from the U.S., how I had no false airs and graces, how I was very hard working and friendly, how no one could tell I was from America.  He said, “keep up being how you are.”  I was pissed.  Because to tell you the truth, while I put on my ‘perfection’ act, all I wanted was a cold giant Heineken and nkwobi at the nearest People’s Club. I wanted to cut loose and have fun, dance, flirt with guys, you know – act like it’s Saturday night in downtown Atlanta. Or Detroit.  But I was being watched. 

Why are there negative attributes associated with Nigerians in America?  A few:

Aje Butter – loosely translated as weak or lazy

Fake Accent – ganna, havta, berra, somborri, twenny, meeeeeeen!  *all in a an octave higher than traditional naija vocals*

Flashy – need I say more?

Arrogant – again, need I say more

Critical – of all things Nigerian – NEPA, roads, transportation, congestion, bribery, lawlessness etc.

And when it comes to relationships here in the United States, it’s worse!  Men think all the ladies here are just rotten apples, women think all the men here don open eye (too smart for their own good).  If a woman can’t cook, she is too Americanized.  Try explaining that one to Rachel Ray or Martha ‘did I not ask for Merlot!’ Stewart.  If woman is not deferential enough she is too proud, like those white girls.  Tell that to Oprah.  If she wears an evening dress to a wedding instead of aso ebi, she is too proud to be African. If a man does not make enough money, he has gotten lazy and allowed the bad morals of this country to get to him.  If he does not have enough degrees, he is not making use of his potentials. If he has even ONE baby mama, e don spoil (he has gone bad). 

I am personally grateful for my Americanization.  Only when I accepted who I had become here, did I truly start enjoying my life instead of worrying about staying true to this so-called ideal as to what a true Nigerian in America is all about.  Although I won’t go out and burn my all my Ankara wear, I am done worrying about it.  Let people say what they want to say.

What’s up with that?

Why do we look at two identical situations and give them separate labels.  For instance why do we think it is cool to be a wine connoisseur but tacky to be a beer-lover.  Sure the wine dude probably travels to vineyards and attends wine tasting events and has manicures to show off as he does the swirling, sniffing and aspirating all the while talking high-falutin wine-language with his fellow wine people.  The beer dude does the same, goes to breweries, bars and beer gardens, talks about flavor, taste and buzz – yet he gets no respect whatsoever.  What is up with that?  I mean, check this:

You are an alcoholic if you are rich but a drunk if you are not.

You are called an eccentric if you have money but called crazy if you don’t.

You are a fashionista if you are affluent but ghetto fabulous if you’re not.

Your child is developmentally challenged if you are rich but is retarded if you are poor

A rich person steals, he or she is a kleptomaniac but a poor person who steals is a thief.

When a rich person does drugs, he or she has a substance abuse problem, but if a poor person does drugs, that’s a crack head or a junkie.

The rich hold soirees the poor have house parties.

The rich suffer from depression, the poor are just ornery.

The rich have five course meals on their table, but the working class folks with the same amount of food are just over-eating.

Rich women can be single mothers but the poor are baby-mamas

If you are rich and like to save money, you’re frugal, if you are poor and like to save money, then you are just stingy.

Labels.  I hate them.