Every year, Turtle makes his pilgrimage to the North Georgia outlet mall to buy things he thinks he needs. As a teacher and coach, he has more gym outfits than the average guy and that includes at least two dozen gym shoes…..Nike, Addidas, Reebok…you name it, he has it in every color and style. When he found out I had one seven year old pair of Reeboks that were damn near falling apart, he wrinkled his nose and took me to Dick’s Sporting Goods to get a good pair of Saucony.
“For someone who runs and works out as much as you do, you should get a new pair EVERY YEAR,” he lectured.
So at the mall, I followed him from store to store in the 95 degree heat (the mall is an outdoor style mall) and helped him pick out this year’s outfits. He got a green pair of Reeboks because it was the only color he did not have. I made him get a yellow polo shirt and a light greenish/blue tennis shirt.
“I look gay in this tennis shirt,” he said. I replied that that was probably the reason I thought he looked good in in. He he he.. He was not amused but he bought it anyway.
The highlight of my day came when he spied a Nautica store and squealed like a little boy, “ooooohhh let’s got to Nautica!” Then in a hushed tone he added, “Nautica is not like… a Nautical store is it?”
I did a double take before letting out a guffaw. I wondered if he was joking. Then I remembered what he said two days before while we watched True Blood. I tried to explain how vampires ‘glamour’ humans in order to make them comply with demands. He tilted his head to one side and said, “oh you mean like Jedi mind tricks!”
Trust him to put a Star Trek spin to everything.
Anyhue- by the end of the day, he had a new pair of glasses which he swears I scatched up when I put it in the bag, sneakers, two shirts and one really cool shirt from Nautica that I saw first but he guilted me into not buying because he wanted it and did not want us to own anything similar.
“It looks like the same shirt Sam Merlotte was wearing. Remember I told you that shirt was money…” he said. I rolled my eyes and told him Sam Merlotte was a TV character and should not be a reason to want to steal a shirt from your girlfriend.
I made out just fine though. I bought two pairs of shoes from Bass which were originally price at $70 but on sale for $15 and a new pair of Reeboks (which he paid for and I promised to reimburse him but ya’ll know that ain’t happening).
That was my weekend in a nutshell. True Blood and the Outlet Mall. That sounds like an awesome name for a movie. Or a band.