Turtle says the darndest things …

Every year, Turtle makes his pilgrimage to the North Georgia outlet mall to buy things he thinks he needs.  As a teacher and coach, he has more gym outfits than the average guy and that includes at least two dozen gym shoes…..Nike, Addidas, Reebok…you name it, he has it in every color and style.  When he found out I had one seven year old pair of Reeboks that were damn near falling apart, he wrinkled his nose and took me to Dick’s Sporting Goods to get a good pair of Saucony. 

“For someone who runs and works out as much as you do, you should get a  new pair EVERY YEAR,” he lectured.

So at the mall, I followed him from store to store in the 95 degree heat (the mall is an outdoor style mall) and helped him pick out this year’s outfits.  He got a green pair of Reeboks because it was the only color he did not have.  I made him get a yellow polo shirt and a light greenish/blue tennis shirt. 

“I look gay in this tennis shirt,” he said.  I replied that that was probably the reason I thought he looked good in in.  He he he.. He was not amused but he bought it anyway.

The highlight of my day came when he spied a Nautica store and squealed like a little boy, “ooooohhh let’s got to Nautica!”  Then in a hushed tone he added, “Nautica is not like… a Nautical store is it?”

I did a double take before letting out a guffaw.  I wondered if he was joking.  Then I remembered what he said two days before while we watched True Blood.   I tried to explain how vampires ‘glamour’ humans in order to make them comply with demands.  He tilted his head to one side and said, “oh you mean like Jedi mind tricks!”

Trust him to put a Star Trek spin to everything.

Anyhue- by the end of the day, he had a new pair of glasses which he swears I scatched up when I put it in the bag, sneakers, two shirts and one really cool shirt from Nautica that I saw first but he guilted me into not buying because he wanted it and did not want us to own anything similar. 

“It looks like the same shirt Sam Merlotte was wearing. Remember I told you that shirt was money…” he said.  I rolled my eyes and told him Sam Merlotte was a TV character and should not be a reason to want to steal a shirt from your girlfriend.

I made out just fine though.  I bought two pairs of shoes from Bass which were originally price at $70 but on sale for $15 and a new pair of Reeboks (which he paid for and I promised to reimburse him but ya’ll know that ain’t happening).

That was my weekend in a nutshell.  True Blood and the Outlet Mall.  That sounds like an awesome name for a movie.  Or a band.

What a Week and End!

A high school buddy of Turtle’s got married last saturday.  The wedding was awesome!  The reception was one big paaaaarty…and Turtle looked so handsome as a groomsman.  It was enough to make me forget the dress drama. 

When it comes to weddings, there is always dress drama…. I ordered a dress from the same online store I use frequently for black tie events.  The dress looked good on the model so I thought it would look good on me.

Doozie #1:  despite the fact I paid for Express shipping, they did not process my order until Wednesday (the wedding was on Saturday). 

Doozie #2:  the dress with the color I wanted was damaged and they called to see if I would prefer fuschia rather than red.  It was Wednesday and I had no time to waste so I said okay. 

Doozie #3: I almost missed the reheasal dinner entirely because the dress arrived at 6:30 pm on Friday.  I raced…yes raced to Atlanta, making the drive in a little over an hour to midtown where everyone somehow were aware of my dress drama.

Major Doozie: It was hideous…overly poufy and did not flatter my figure.

Thank goodness for a plan B dress which in all fairness was a simple summer dress I had purchased for casual events but decided to take along with me for the weekend.  I simply took shawl/sash that came with the hideous dress, and tied it around to make a bow/sash on my simple summer dress. 

Good thing is … guests gave me compliments on the dress…and I gave a silent prayer of thanks to the god of fashion emergencies and wardrobe malfunctions for not making me a laughing stock.  Just imagine what would have happened if I showed up in that poufy dress (that would give ugly bridesmaid dresses a run for their money)…am sure the reception conversation starter would go like this: “that is what she almost missed the reheasal dinner for?”

Anyhue – the bride and groom looked so happy and perfect for each other.

And I gave Turtle lots of smooches…as you guys insisted…he he he he…

So after a whole day of partying from reception, to lounge to bar…..yep … we were at it until 2 a.m. I think…I left early to go on my whitewater rafting trip.  It was so much fun despite my fatigue.  I would do this again.  (Yes…I am waaaaaay in the back on the left).  I am still tired but I just had to squeeze in this post between work projects.

Medical Mystery

You’all know that I have this horrible neuropathic pain that shoots up my right arm, down my right leg and basically dances all over the right side of my body, right?  Well, for the past two months I have been bouncing from doctor to doctor trying to figure out what is wrong with me.  I got a cervical and brain MRI last week which came back clear, thank goodness.  My new neurologist ruled out MS and Fibromyalgia which was a good thing too. 

It turns out that my condition is quite common in women and a lot of neurologists have been treating this for decades.  According to Dr. N, there seems to be a spike in the number of women who have this in recent years.  He said that over the last few decades, the number goes up and down, no one knows why this is the case.  The good thing is that these women that have been studied have no long term strutural damage.

Now here is where it gets weird.  Dr. N believes (that there is a school of thought) that this kind of pain is actually a form of migraine.

Very strange, yes - but - it makes perfect sense to me because I hardly get headaches (unless I drink too much wine) and I never get migraines, at least as an adult. (When I was a little I had migraines all the time and then it just stopped when I became a teenager).  It makes sense because when I am stressed the pain is amplified times 10.  It seems the brain sort of re-wired the way it handles pain sensations concentrating most of it on the right side of my body.

Turns out there is nothing to do but treat the symptoms.  I am relieved that we have an idea or at the very most a guess of what we are dealing with.