Archive | October, 2011

The Race Post (Part One)

20 Oct

Turtle and I are having a little tiff over race.  Yeah. Surprise, surprise.

Many times, I jokingly comment over things like stereotypes on television like, “oh here we go, the black dude dies first,” or, “oh look, another black gangster,” or “playing rap music, here comes the Cadillac with the rims…”

We laugh about it most of the time.  So last week, while watching Terra Nova, the leader of the sixers (Christine Adams) who happens to be a woman of color shows up on screen, tall, black, militant – with face paint and I go, “wait why does she have to be black?  Why can’t they cast someone else like the woman who plays the captain’s lieutenant.  She’s mean-looking too and white.”

I was half joking and half serious because I was seeing a recurring theme with these shows.

Turtle kinda went off and said he was tired of hearing me say that.

“Besides,” he said, “black is more intimidating than white.”

Say what?

“The color black is more intimidating than the color white.  That is why burglars wear black.  That is why black bouncers look scarier than white bouncers.”

“Dude, I don’t care what color you are as a bouncer.  Bouncers scare me, period.  The bigger the scarier…black or white.”

“I don’t believe you.”

The conversation or should I say verbal exchange went downhill from there.

We all have prejudices towards people not like us.  I believe it is normal.  However, acting on those prejudices is what we avoid as a society.  That said – For a country this diverse, I believe Americans are so obsessed about race and class – at least compared to Europeans. I mean, the thirteen years I have spent in this country has enabled me to see both sides of the color line.

  • Blacks HATE whites (yes, I said it…okay maybe hate is strong word, I will go with ‘distrust’)
  • Whites are scared of blacks (or the possibility of a revolution where they become the underprivileged)
  • Mixed race people are forced to choose one side based on the one drop rule (who are we kidding, mixed people are considered black)
  • No one believes there is such a thing as White Privilege (that would be against ‘post racial’ America)
  • Affirmative Action is seen punitive to whites and condescending to blacks (This one could take all day)
  • Blacks have to prove they are capable (I have personally experienced this in EVERY job I have held)
  • Whites have to prove they are not racist (ever notice every white group of friends have a token black friend?)
  • We are all stuck in PC hell (And it aint getting any better)

I stand by all the statements I have made.  Let’s talk about White Privilege.  Chris Rock said that a black person has to fly really high to get to where a white person can easily walk to.  He was referring to the fact that all the black home owners in his neighborhood were the best in sports and entertainment while his white next door neighbor is an ordinary dentist. (What does a black have to do around here to move next to Bill Gates?)

The other day, I was having a mild discussion with a white co-worker.  I told him he had nothing to complain about on this planet.  He disagreed with me.  I told him that as a white male, unless he screwed up majorly like doing drugs, getting arrested or dropping out of school,  he was guaranteed a decent life.  He once again disagreed.

So, I asked him, “If I give you $10 million dollars and in return when you wake up, you will have to live the rest of your life as a black man, would you take it?”

“No,” he said.

“Okay, fair enough. Let me up the ante.  If I give you $100 million dollars and in return, you have to live the rest of your life as a black woman, would you take it?”

He said, “heck, no.”

I rest my case.

(To be Continued).

 

Another late Food Friday

17 Oct

I swear this won’t be a habit.  I am kinda all over the place and busy for no reason.  Work, wedding, housekeeping, shopping, active social calendar.  Phew, I need a breather.

I made jollof rice a while back.  It was unintentionally spicy.  I forgot fresh peppers were hotter than ground pepper.

 

Although okro soup is not one of my favorites, I usually try to make a pot once in a while.

One of Turtle’s favorite dishes.  Stuffed Pork Chops.

Sorry folks, I gotta run.  I hope things slow down so I can really blog properly.

Growing up naija

10 Oct

One particular day I was casually discussing the boarding school lifestyle at work. I had the impression my colleagues would be intrigued but what I saw instead was horror, fear, pity and surprise in the faces of my listeners.  Especially the white ones who have this idea of boarding schools as a place for children of the rich.

It’s like there is a small special club for Nigerian boarding school survivors who grew up:

  • Waking up at 5 a.m.
  • Walking miles to get water for bathing and drinking
  • Doing chores like cutting grass with machetes, scrubbing pit latrines or sweeping dusty yards
  • Having beans, tea and kunu samia  for breakfast
  • Morning assembly on Mondays and Fridays
  • Lunch portions the size of your fist
  • Cutting grass or serving punishments like kneeling and flying your arms
  • Attending or finding ways to dodge prep hours
  • Hiding contrabands like – indomie noodles
  • School moms and dads that made life much easier or harder depending on luck
  • Seniors who made your life miserable
  • Owning that ubiquitous metal suitcase to store your meager belongings

  • Missing meals because you had too many errands to run
  • Being in the press club and the drama club
  • Using safety pins to hold up your skirt because you’ve lost so much weight from malnutrition
  • Catching malaria at least once a year
  • Hoping not to run out of “Bleach and Blue” for your whites
  • Inter-house sports competitiveness
  • Vying for captainships in your senior years
  • The joy of transitioning from pinafores to skirts
  • Dreaming of never having to wear a peter pan collar.  Ever again.
  • Seeing your parents during visiting day
  • Cramming for midterms and final exams in your dorms
  • Saturday morning inspections and house cleanliness rankings
  • Throwing slangs around like “rub and shine,” “t-square,” and “commando.”
  • Leaving school after final exams
  • Spending holidays at home waiting to go back and do it all over again

In the eyes of those who did not go to boarding school, specifically Federal Government Colleges, our lives sucked.  Honestly, it probably did but while in the system the fact that everybody else is going through what you are going through makes it a rite of passage.  A test of your chutzpah.  An indication of how well you will fare in the future.  It pretty much sums up why I am rough around the edges and fiercely independent.

I told Turtle that if any of our kids ever messed up, they were going to a boarding school in Nigeria.  No second chances.  Nothing prepares you for life like living an environment that mirrors a life of juvenile detention.

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