Shit People Say to “Africans”

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Come on people, you all know this is what life is really like in the good ole US of A.  Check this.  This was typical of my daily life in college and also why I anglicized my first and last name.  Without Regret:

 

Place, college.  Semester, every semester.  Week, doesn’t matter – happens all the time.

 

Professor:  Anderson, John

Student: Here

 

Professor:  Beecher, Patrick

Student: Here

 

Professor:  Conrad, Jessie

Student: Here

 

Professor:  Embrel, Samantha

Student: Here

 

Professor:  Ayzzz….Ayzzzz…Easy?

Me: *sigh*

 

Professor:  Ayzaygwaaaaahhhh……? Ewww?  Eeeewch.  Ewwwkrea? Ewwchaaariiiiah?

Me: Here

 

Professor:  Can you pronounce that for me again?

Me: Eucharia Ezeagwu

 

Professor:  Interesting name!

Me: *facepalm*

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After college, proud of my newly minted degree, I send out hundreds of resumes.  No calls. No interviews.

I anglicize my name when I get my citizenship and send out more resumes.  Dozens of calls, a lot of interviews.

 

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Meanwhile….many many years later

 

Boss:  Hey the name on your degree is different from the name you use now.

Me: Yeah, it was pretty hard for people to pronounce so I use my dad’s first name now.

Boss: Oh, so how do you pronounce this?

Me: Eucharia Ezeagwu

Boss: *silence*

Me: *blank stare*

Boss: Well thank goodness you changed it.

Me: *blank stare*

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Ah, to be Americanized.

 

Every Woman Should Watch This!

You might want to re-think being too hard on yourself.

And the world spins madly on …

Yep, its 2012.  I am having a flashback to Y2K.  Remember all the hysteria?  I ignored it until the last few minutes before the New Year – then I filled my bath tub with water.  Just in case.

I read somewhere on the interweb that the Spanish would be responsible if the world ended because if they had not wiped out the Mayans, maybe they could have finished their calendar.  True? Not True?  Who knows?  These were people that worshiped the sun and tore out hearts and hacked off heads remember? I don’t think the Spanish had anything to do with the ‘disappearance’ of the Mayans.  It took almost 200 years for the Spanish to control the lands.  In the meantime, the civilization collapsed.  I think aliens got them.  Haven’t you seen Alien vs. Predator?

Anyhue, wedding plans are back on and going strong.  It is funny how people tell you to do what you want to do but then when it comes to details, those same people try to inject their own ideas into your planning.

Turtle and I have been fighting a lot more.  Every time I talk to close friends about it they laugh and tell me it is perfectly normal.  As the day draws closer, the fighting gets intense.  I am not sure I have ever heard of that. Is it in the secret book of married people in the chapter about things not to tell single people?

This fuel subsidy issue sef has me worried.  I am so glad our brothers and sisters back home are holding it down.  So far, things have been peaceful with a few fatalities here and there.  I wonder how certain people (those in govt) can be so obtuse. I can’t imagine waking up to gas being $8 a gallon and not burst a vein.  As in WTF?  In a country were most live on less than $2 a day?  The low cost of fuel is one of the only benefits of living in Nigeria for heaven’s sake.  Now they want to take that away overnight!

No one is against taking away the fuel subsidy but there are other ways to make that sacrifice. I am not an expert on government policy but how about cutting the allowances for senators and representatives?  All 109 senators get $115,000 allowance a year in addition to $15,000 monthly salary (more than the average US senator).  That is $12.5 bn  a year in ‘allowances’ my people!  If you cut that in half, we will save $6 bn.  That solves almost 80 percent of the $8 bn we spend a year on subsidies!!!  The rest we can get from representatives allowances, right?

But no.  Politicians won’t make sacrifices.  They only want the ordinary man to make the sacrifice.  Who is fooling who?

My people – I had the most traumatic experience a few days ago.  On my way home from work, I asked my carpool to pull into a gas station so I could use the restroom. One of the many side effects of my medication.  What I saw in the bathroom …

It took two hours of watching horror movies where people got sliced, diced, fried up and eaten to temporarily erase the horror of a toilet bowl with …goodness what people eat these days to produce things like that ….. aarrh.  Excuse me while I spit

*hock-puhtueh*

Lately I have been worrying about my next steps professionally.  I want to start taking classes towards my PhD as soon as Turtle is done with his degree but in the mean time, I am looking towards doing some instruction work to earn a few thousand here and there.  Not having a plan is making me restless.  Perhaps it is time to focus on my PM certification …

Well folks, that’s all I got.  Happy New Year to you all!