I am not a big fan of formalities. I am not a big fan of cliques either. The reason is I hate playing a game where the rules have already been set especially when I was not part of the group setting the rules. Hence I tend to do things with a little twist. To make it mine.
This wedding has gotten so urber traditional that I am constantly getting reminders and emails about using formal names and titles and blah blah frigging blah. So what if I listed the best man as Jack instead of John. Everybody calls him Jack. He is known as Jack. I am sure the heavens will not fall if I leave it as Jack. Yeeeeeeeeeesh. And is it necessary to have the moms escorted by males on their side of the family??? I switched that for a reason. I wanted a twist.
*chants* Grant me the frigging serenity…
And if one more person tells me that it is my wedding and I can do whatever I want, I will have serious conniption. If I can have whatever I want why am I not having a custom made stein for a beer toast instead of Champaign toast? That is what I want…but…noooooooooo…MIL scratched that and had our flutes made already.
Last night EDJ and I were exchanging tweets about Stephanie Okereke’s wedding when I realized that the reason I was very angry about the direction of my wedding was because I had no support system from my side of the family. None.
Sure I get the occasional call or email asking about how the planning is going and what I need from Nigeria. Da heck? The only thing I asked for was for my parents’ embassy appointment be made ON TIME. (that did not happen…the appointment is scheduled for mid-June…and my hair is falling out at the thought of all this last minute stuff). I asked for my sister to be Matron of Honor and her son to be my ring bearer, but my douchebag brother-in-law refuses to let her come to the United States for my wedding because they have already planned a family vacation next year. I cajoled, cried and threatened to no avail. That semi-illiterate son of a bitch decided that ONLY him would come to my wedding with two of his buddies. I quickly uninvited his ass. The only way he was coming to my wedding was with my sister in tow. The family drama that ensued afterwards is one for soap operas…
I am no spring chicken and I am not a wilting flower either. I can put up a good fight. If I really wanted this wedding to be done my own way, it would have been. But I promised Turtle that he would have exactly the type of wedding he wanted because in all fairness, I really don’t give a shit. I could go to the Justice of the Peace and get it done in one afternoon and be okay with keeping the money I have spent so far in my savings where I have painstakingly kept it, foregoing vacations and brand new vehicles and better living surroundings.
So I will keep my promise and smile and be a traditional catholic bride with all the production that comes with it. When you find someone whose happiness is more important than yours, things like this cease to matter after a while.
I leave you with the observation of my boss:
“This wedding is making you paranoid.”