It was not the perfect day. It rained late that morning.
Two weeks before the day, my parents had no hope of coming to the wedding. And then an emergency visa was granted and they arrived just in time for my bachelorette. Which thank goodness they did not witness – think wearing a hand band of two penises and necklace of penises and having to do dares from a stack of cards (not telling what), drumming with the band, getting drinks from strangers who were fascinated by my flashing penises, and inevitably passing out drunk on the way to my hotel and being tucked in by my future sisters-in-law.
It was far from perfect. I spent hours at the spa getting manis and pedis only to have then ruined before I got dressed for my big day.
It was far from perfect. I was ten pounds over weight and my chronic pain was acting up. Yet, all I could do was smile when my mother criticized my massive breakfast plate. Only mothers have that right eh? Besides I could not tell her I was hung over.
Some family members missed the rehearsal and were late for the dinner. Yet I ignored MIL snarky remarks and spent 20 minutes hugging and catching up with a few cousins.
My MIL tried her best to get food to cater to Nigerian tastes. But my mom leaned close to me and asked, “how old were these chickens when they were butchered? Two weeks?”
The two sides barely knew each other, yet my father leaned towards my mother in the rehearsal line and whispered, “at least they are catholic.”
It wasn’t perfect but everything I wanted happened. I was happy. I was at peace.
God sent a small shower to bless the day and cool off the heat.
God sent my parents to remind me of what was important. They gave me chuckles with every culture shock comment.
God sent a calm over me. I was not nervous. And I did not care that people did not get to blow bubbles.
God sent me peace. I cried as my father said an opening blessing and broke the kolanut at the reception – hilarity ensued. Riot over kolanuts? Anoder day anoder tori.
I danced all day and all night.
I danced in my gown under the chandelier lights
I did not bother to re-apply my make-up as the day went on
I shook off pretension and got my drink on
I declined offers of help to pee
I scooped up my ball gown and bent my knees,
I cut my wedding cake and when he plastered my face
I gave a small pout and did not retaliate
I danced in my traditional, and evening dress and flip flops
I broke out D’banj moves and pulled out all the stops
I did not mean to rhyme people but in a nutshell -
Everyone said they had great fun and it was swell
Thanks to good food, beer, wine and liquor
(Twelve straight hours and no one got sicker)
If shit went wrong, I did not care
God had (temporary) my burden to bear
From miss to bride to mrs to wife
It wasn’t perfect but I had the time of my life.
Thank you for all the wishes you sent my way.
God heard your prayers and sent blessings that day