Jersey Shore is my guilty pleasure

5 Feb

I stumbled upon the shore entirely by mistake. At first, I thought it was a show for misguided wannabe tanning lotion models but when I read about all the hullabaloo from angry Italian-Americans about the stereotypic nature of the show, I was like, ‘I have to watch this!’  and boy did I ever enjoy myself.  It’s like a mix of The Real World + Bad Girls Club + Tool Academy all rolled into one.

It is so bad, it’s good. I mean, where else can you watch a bunch of over-tanned, over-endowed, gym-going, laundry-doing, fist-pumping, alcoholic, *out of breath* self-proclaimed guidos and guidettes? It’s hard to feel guilty for wanting to believe the stereotype. Just hard.

Oh where do I begin…?

Mike ‘The Situation’ whom I also fondly refer to as ‘walking herpes,’ is the most annoying of the cast mates. I am honestly offended by everything that comes out of his mouth. How dare that prune (he needs to stop tanning and take care of his wrinkly skin) refer to some girl as a grenade and another as a grenade launcher? That punch from J-woww was the best moment in the show. And the fact that he stole a drunk girl Pauly D was interested in was disgusting…since just moments before he swooped in, they were making out. Eww. With his non-discerning taste in women, he would be better off as the second male prostitute in Nevada.

Oh, J-woww. Or should I call her J-wow-wow. I get really distracted by her boobs. Like really. And I ain’t a lesbian. I will forgive her anything because she punched The Situation, but girlfriend needs to learn how to dance without dry humping strange men or showing us her crotch.

Snookie! Snickers! Snookums! I love Snookie. She is such a cute munchkin. However, her desperation to find a man is just pitiful. She also needs to learn karate if she intends to keep getting in people’s faces. People do fight back, you know. And – like J-woww…the crotch thing is also too much. You can dance without showing it off. And what the heck with making out with The Situation? *ugh*

Sammi is the most boring of the ladies. She is quite normal as in a cesspit of emotional booby-trap. I feel sorry for hook-up boyfriend Ronnie who seems to be dancing around eggshells not knowing when he will do something wrong again.

Ronnie. I love his body. He belongs to the GTL crew…as in Gym-Tanning-Laundry but he seems sweet. But he is also immature to an extent. I just can’t help thinking ‘steroids’ when I look at him.

Pauly D could have been likable except for the fact that he can’t wipe his ass without The Situation. And that horrible spiky hair. Those guys keep gel-makers in business, I swear, but also kept the hot tub grimy and full of germs with girl after girl after girl. Haven’t they heard of just screwing on a regular bed? I also find it funny that he told this Jewish girl he met at the bar that her last name would be his last name, and when the girl became stalkerish, he acted surprised. Like, really? Dude, you practically proposed the day you met this girl and now that she is actually trying to fulfill your wishes, you get cold feet. Shaarrraaap dia!

My favorite is mama’s boy Vinny. I hope he stays close to his mama ‘cus this boy is the most normal person to walk on the shore. Typical young man, chases girls but not in a bad way. I liked how he treated The Situation’s sister but if I were him, I would re-think getting involved with that train wreck’s family. My favorite quote from him? “How does my saliva taste,” to The Situation after he made out with a drunk girl Vinny had been making out with moments before. Gross.

I bid you adieu with this Jersey Shore Nickname Generator. Mine is “The Position.” What’s yours?

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10 Responses to “Jersey Shore is my guilty pleasure”

  1. Nice Anon February 5, 2010 at 6:16 pm #

    That show is so stupid that you cannot help but watch it. Fist pumping is so funny as well.

    • lucidlilith February 9, 2010 at 11:36 am #

      Not to sound ignorant but don’t Italian Americans gesture with their hands rather than fist pump or is this a generation thing?

  2. Andrea February 5, 2010 at 8:12 pm #

    Hubby and I watch this show together. I love snookie. Did you watch the episode were the girl got punched.

    • lucidlilith February 9, 2010 at 11:33 am #

      Oh yes. She got punched again by some other girl at the house…one of the situation’s hook-up’s friend …the one he called the grenade launcher…lol.

  3. naija mom abroad February 8, 2010 at 1:26 am #

    don’t watch it. maybe i should. there’s nothing like hot bodies to remind me i need to lose all the baby weight!*sigh*

    • lucidlilith February 9, 2010 at 11:34 am #

      welcome to our world. In an hour I am going to spend an hour on the elliptical.

  4. Helene February 9, 2010 at 12:49 am #

    I have heard SO much about this show yet I haven’t watched it yet. I’ve seen them on various talk shows though. Why do they call that guy “the Situation”? Who on earth came up with that name?

    • lucidlilith February 9, 2010 at 11:35 am #

      Girl- i have no idea. Question is who came up with all their names?

  5. Myne Whitman February 9, 2010 at 2:47 am #

    My fist pump name is Hot Spot, lol. Wonder what that means. I never saw the show before.

    • lucidlilith February 9, 2010 at 11:35 am #

      lmao! That seems to suit you oh!

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