Turtle says the darndest things …

26 Jul

Every year, Turtle makes his pilgrimage to the North Georgia outlet mall to buy things he thinks he needs.  As a teacher and coach, he has more gym outfits than the average guy and that includes at least two dozen gym shoes…..Nike, Addidas, Reebok…you name it, he has it in every color and style.  When he found out I had one seven year old pair of Reeboks that were damn near falling apart, he wrinkled his nose and took me to Dick’s Sporting Goods to get a good pair of Saucony. 

“For someone who runs and works out as much as you do, you should get a  new pair EVERY YEAR,” he lectured.

So at the mall, I followed him from store to store in the 95 degree heat (the mall is an outdoor style mall) and helped him pick out this year’s outfits.  He got a green pair of Reeboks because it was the only color he did not have.  I made him get a yellow polo shirt and a light greenish/blue tennis shirt. 

“I look gay in this tennis shirt,” he said.  I replied that that was probably the reason I thought he looked good in in.  He he he.. He was not amused but he bought it anyway.

The highlight of my day came when he spied a Nautica store and squealed like a little boy, “ooooohhh let’s got to Nautica!”  Then in a hushed tone he added, “Nautica is not like… a Nautical store is it?”

I did a double take before letting out a guffaw.  I wondered if he was joking.  Then I remembered what he said two days before while we watched True Blood.   I tried to explain how vampires ‘glamour’ humans in order to make them comply with demands.  He tilted his head to one side and said, “oh you mean like Jedi mind tricks!”

Trust him to put a Star Trek spin to everything.

Anyhue- by the end of the day, he had a new pair of glasses which he swears I scatched up when I put it in the bag, sneakers, two shirts and one really cool shirt from Nautica that I saw first but he guilted me into not buying because he wanted it and did not want us to own anything similar. 

“It looks like the same shirt Sam Merlotte was wearing. Remember I told you that shirt was money…” he said.  I rolled my eyes and told him Sam Merlotte was a TV character and should not be a reason to want to steal a shirt from your girlfriend.

I made out just fine though.  I bought two pairs of shoes from Bass which were originally price at $70 but on sale for $15 and a new pair of Reeboks (which he paid for and I promised to reimburse him but ya’ll know that ain’t happening).

That was my weekend in a nutshell.  True Blood and the Outlet Mall.  That sounds like an awesome name for a movie.  Or a band.

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13 Responses to “Turtle says the darndest things …”

  1. EDJ July 26, 2010 at 9:33 am #

    LOL I want to be in that band. “True Blood and the Outlet Mall”, I like outlet malls, but seeing as how I don’t have a car to drive to one…ah well.

    LOL @ Turtle complaining about clothing. The key to getting a man to change his “dressing” style is to make him think its his idea. Alpa Chino will kill me for saying this but, I like to think I had a little bit to do with his switch to better fitting clothing. Now he peruses GQ, Esquire, etc for fashion tips and genuinely thinks about what he buys and wears. For instance suits…he now owns more than one and he actually went and got them fitted instead of simply wearing them straight off the racks. The day I found that out I went to church for thanksgiving service.

    I’m glad you had a good weekend. My weekend was pretty boring.

    • lucidlilith July 27, 2010 at 4:57 pm #

      OMG! Turtle’s style is so simple and frat boy-like that it is depressing! His gym clothes are the only clothes he actually puts any thought into.

      For Christmas, I had to get him a pair of dress shoes ‘cus he owned only one. My work is cut out for me.

  2. Caramel Delight July 26, 2010 at 11:44 am #

    I only owned one pair of sneakers too….until Xmas now I have two but that will probably be it till the second coming of Jesus.

    • lucidlilith July 27, 2010 at 4:57 pm #

      lol..at second coming.

  3. Ms. O July 26, 2010 at 1:40 pm #

    I own one pair of sneakers too! You and Turtle are so cute!

    • lucidlilith July 27, 2010 at 4:57 pm #

      awww thanks! We don’t look so cute when we fight though.

  4. Ms. Sula July 26, 2010 at 2:28 pm #

    That sounded like an awesome week-end…

    True Blood and the Outlet Mall.

    And yes, this is an absolutely fabulous band name. 🙂

    (My band name will either be Fuku-San or Kung Pao Sauce. :))

    • lucidlilith July 27, 2010 at 4:58 pm #

      Now you’re making me hungry.

  5. One3Snapshot July 27, 2010 at 4:48 pm #

    LOL my (almost) daily laughter tonic.

    • lucidlilith July 27, 2010 at 4:58 pm #

      thanks for stopping by! Just so you know, he shook his head in disbelief when I told him I blogged about his comments…lol.

  6. Myne Whitman July 27, 2010 at 10:08 pm #

    But seriously, is Nautica not for nautical gear?

    • lucidlilith July 28, 2010 at 3:27 pm #

      LOl…it deals in apparel including activewear.

  7. Nice Anon July 31, 2010 at 2:26 am #

    Nautical is the in trend now o! I always wonder why you call him Turtle? Odi slow ka mbe korota? he heee( kidding of course no kill me o)

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