Coming to America. Take 2.

23 Aug

My sister, her husband and their spawn have been cracking me up.  There are so many things they have been up to lately … some of which I can’t even post.  Remember my Coming to America piece about my Aunty K and Uncle J?  Add children to the mix and it is pure chaos.

Firstly, the little boy whom I will hence forth call Tornado finds it entertaining to run around in circles in our apartment like a cyclone until he flops on the ground, catches his breath and starts all over again.  He won’t let me touch him or play with him unless I am eating something he wants, the he siddles up to me and stretches his hand as if I owe him money. 

He loves hanging out with Turtle though and his parents don’t understand it.  It got so bad that they had to lock him up in their room to give Turtle some breathing room.  I mean Tornado follows him EVERYWHERE.

Didi aka Mellow Yellow and I are good pals.  She is so cool to hand out with.  All she wants to do is be rocked to sleep, eat (if she is in the mood), spit out her food in your face (if she is not), sleep and squeal in her high pitched voice.  It cracks me up how much like her mother she is.

Mom and dad are not left out of their shenanigans.  Taking care of little ones is not easy so I will cut them some slack but they need to start paying attention to managing time.  Turtle and I have had to start lying about what time we need to get going.  If we are going out at 10 a.m., we tell them that we have to leave at 8:30.  We eventually make it out of the door at 9:45 and then spend 10 minutes strapping the kids to car seats, which as you know naija kids are not used to.  Tornado hollers and fights and Mellow Yellow gets equally miffed.  I put my foot down on that one.  They get strapped in, no exceptions, despite their parents pleas to allow them to ride without car seats.  Not in America.  I am not going to jail for child endangerment.

My sister and her husband have stressed their need to go shopping for themselves, the kids and dozens of people back home.  They have a list as long as my arm from friends, family, co-workers, neighbors etc. In order to help them save money, I took them WalMart. I also took them to Ross and then offered to take them to TJ Maxx and Marshall’s.  They turned up their nose and said they were not impressed with Ross and did not want to go to Maxx and Marshall’s.  They said they wanted quality.  So I drove them to Lennox Mall and dropped them off to browse and went home to cook dinner.  About 30 minutes later, my sister called me.

“Which kind of people actually shop here?  I saw a suit jacket for $200! That is not including the pants!!  A watch is like $300!  And that is not including the straps!!”

I said Lennox Mall was pretty pricey but Phillips was more expensive.  I sent Turtle to get them from the mall before they died from sticker shock.  When they got home, they showed me a text from a friend who suggested they go to TJ Maxx and Marshall’s.  I did not say, ‘ I told you so.’  I just smiled.

It is a good thing that they are paying for their meals because they still eat as though they are in Nigeria.  My sister was complaining that my plates were not big enough and wondered how I survived because she sees my portions and thinks it is too small.  After eating the fried rice and chicken I made, her husband said, “I don’t understand your attitude towards food at all.”

I told him since I led a pretty sedentary life with a desk job, my body required less food not like back home where life is a tad more vigorous.  I kinda like having people to cook for but I don’t like how they look at me with pity as if I was starving myself.  My sister actually picked up my pre-packed lunch bowl and said, “This is all you are eating?”

Just last Wednesday, Turtle made them special pork chops.  He marinated and mixed and prepped the meat excitedly the day before and then cooked and served it with vegetables.  They tasted it. 

Then used their share to make yam porridge.

Poor Turtle thought they hated it.  I had to explain to him that Nigerians typically don’t eat meat alone.  They make it with something else.

It has been a busy week, with shopping, the zoo and downtown Atlanta.  We are taking them to the Aquarium this Friday.  Isn’t family fun?

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24 Responses to “Coming to America. Take 2.”

  1. Neefemi August 23, 2010 at 5:36 pm #

    lol. i can only imagine. and tornado sounds like my nephew tomiwa. its hilarious. glad you are having fun ma

    • lucidlilith August 24, 2010 at 2:20 pm #

      Ha ha…I wonder how things would turn out if those two were in the same room. At the same time. *shivers*

  2. Nice Anon August 23, 2010 at 5:54 pm #

    Family is indeed so much fun!

    • lucidlilith August 24, 2010 at 2:21 pm #

      Oh yeah. Sleep deprivation, walking around in circles to calm the baby down, laughing so much I can hardly stand….

  3. taynement August 23, 2010 at 6:40 pm #

    LOL..I am here giving props to Turtle. Nigerian methods ain’t easy, we wey know am still get baffled every now and then. Enjoy the rest of their stay with them. LOL@the pork chop story sha.

    • lucidlilith August 24, 2010 at 2:21 pm #

      Just for what he has to put up with…imma just let him do whatever he wants.

  4. Young Grumbler August 23, 2010 at 6:57 pm #

    Lol, family are such fun…your shopping strategy was on point! I usually start off with the pricey shops first cos 9ja folks love deir labels, but when they see the prices, they actually beg me to take them somwhere cheaper. Poor Turtle, and it was good that you were firm on then being strapped in the car – better safe than sorry!

    • lucidlilith August 24, 2010 at 2:22 pm #

      I learned that the hard way…I was trying to be a nice relative and help them out. Big mistake. Now they are so excited to be going to TJ Maxx and Marshall’s. I don’t think they ever want to hear the word “mall” again.

  5. Ms.O August 23, 2010 at 9:13 pm #

    Turtle is such a trooper!! Amidst all the chaos sounds like you are having fun still!..:)

    • lucidlilith August 24, 2010 at 2:23 pm #

      Yup. I just pretend to be tired and cranky.

  6. Tomi August 23, 2010 at 10:27 pm #

    LOL. Nice description ! Enjoy the ride!

    • lucidlilith August 24, 2010 at 2:23 pm #

      I will miss them when they leave.

  7. jobsfornaija August 24, 2010 at 12:11 am #

    na wa oh. family is fun sha. i cant wait to staart mine. literally

    • lucidlilith August 24, 2010 at 2:24 pm #

      He he he…you know ironically. I just figured out that I could wait to start mine. But as per the biological clock ticking and all that…

  8. Mamuje August 24, 2010 at 5:43 am #

    lol…They thought TJ Maxx and Marshalls was too cheap huh? lol lol

    Lennox Mall isnt all that bad.. Got some lovely shoes and jeans from there. Nice. Shame I didnt get to do all I planned to do in 2 weeks. Maybe next time.

    • lucidlilith August 24, 2010 at 2:24 pm #

      I hope you come back soon!

  9. EDJ August 24, 2010 at 12:28 pm #

    LOL wow. Enjoy oh! How much longer are they here for? I am so glad that Turtle is being so cool with everything. Didn’t you guys move in recently? Hope they don’t wreck the place!

    You know that thing about the mall happened to my aunt who came visiting. We took her to our Galleria but she said it was too “simple” cos you know Macy’s just has cheap rubbish and she wanted “designer” stuff. So we took her to our “other” mall where there is all the designer stores are and the first place she entered was Barneys. She didn’t buy anything the whole day. I just love when people visiting from Nigeria are looking for “designers” and then they realize how expensive it is here and calm it down.

    • lucidlilith August 24, 2010 at 2:25 pm #

      I will have to put up a post about the whole moving in thing with Turtle and my sister. He has graduated from live-in lover to “fiance” in quotes…if you get what I mean…

      Siblings are sneaky…tryna marry me off before I am ready…

      • EDJ August 24, 2010 at 4:46 pm #

        I so want to hear how moving in went. Interestingly enough I may be doing the same thing too next year. In fact it is almost a certainty that this time next year I will have my own “moving in” post.

        My parents are really going to kill me. I am quite certain.

        At least your sis isn’t giving you the whole schpiel about him not being Nigerian. Its a great thing they are calling him your fiance. lol. When is the wedding exactly?

        • lucidlilith August 25, 2010 at 2:43 pm #

          Wedding ke? He has not even put a ring on it yet. When he does, then we will discuss wedding….

          As per moving. Do it. Then ask for forgiveness. Don’t ask for permission cus you won’t get it. Also, make sure that it is the right thing for both of you.

          can’t wait for the post.

  10. Joxy August 26, 2010 at 6:08 am #

    Lol at pork asaro. Upbeat post, glad you are having fun wiv your family. Turtle’s a great sport, sounds like a really nice guy, methinks he’s a keeper.

  11. Adanne August 26, 2010 at 4:17 pm #

    oh i have so missed ur blog! my life is crazy, i don’t know how u find the time to blog cos i know u r so busy…oh wait u love to write 🙂
    ur niece is such a cutie!!
    LOL @ ur sis, she wants to do big girl status now, I don’t blame her. Did they end up going to Maxx/Marshalls?
    PS: sorry for the loss of your mama nnukwu.

  12. Original Mgbeke August 31, 2010 at 10:29 pm #

    DEAD @ them using their pork chops to make yam porridge. I don die!
    Awwww, mellow yellow is the cutest! Love it! Hahaha seems your fam is def having quite the time. Oh, and my friend has made similiar comments about my pre-packed lunch so I feel ya o jare.

  13. pawpawandmango September 2, 2010 at 10:38 am #

    Lol!!!I can’t get past the pork chops bit. I try to picture their faces and imagine their thoughts, “what are we eating the pork chops with?” Hope it’s been fun!!

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