No good deed …

8 Feb

…goes unpunished.

So, Vera wanted to help me out with picking out a wedding favor. You know, I have always known that Vera’s mind worked in mysterious was but this her list get as e be::

Mugs – sure you can’t go wrong, but I envision people sloshing and splashing wine in the mugs because the waiters stopped bringing clean glasses.

Made-in-Naija serving trays -em, in the days of Bed, Bath and Beyond, when people make the effort to spring that $70 stainless steel serving tray for your gift, are you sure you want to give them trays with inscriptions that are unreadable and pictures that look like images from the 70s?

Writing pad – forget it.  My friends will use them as coasters before the end of the day.

Pens – same thing…they would be used as stirrers for mixing cocktails.

Salt – I can imagine someone asking me, “Does this come with a blood pressure monitor?”

Microwave covers – not a bad idea at all.  But I really can’t predict the size of everyone’s microwave.

Buckets – makes sense in naija but I don’t know how oyinbo people will take it.  Maybe they will assume it is for building sandcastles on the beach?

Shot glasses – Turtle said no.   Besides, I think everyone expects us to GIVE shot glasses.  Not a good reputation at all.

Bottle opener – another great idea, but also another alcohol related gift.  Totally expected, not encouraged.

Umbrella – Abeg, my budget no fit reach that one jo. One printed umbrella is like $5.  Minus set up, minus shipping.  I will rather take the money and add another top shelf liquor to my open bar.

Plastic cups – mba.

Wash cloths -otio…why do I want people to wash their asses with my face?

Handkerchiefs – who really carries one around these days?

Bags – according to Turtle, “we have like six totes and have you ever used any?”  Answer: NO.

Fake jewelry – *ponders*  Even cheap Avon jewelry is like $8.

Indomie Noodles – lmao!

Calendars – you know, I made my invitations and everyone knows it … I don’t want to give them something they will think I made on my computer too.  Not that this is not totally doable….

Almanac – so whose photos will be on the almanac?  People’s Club of Nigeria?  Whyyyyyyyyy???????????

Semovita – *facepalm*

So in conclusion, Vera has officially made herself ineligible for any wedding related tasks.  She is henceforth required to only dance, eat and enjoy the day.




9 Responses to “No good deed …”

  1. Ginger February 8, 2012 at 7:14 pm #

    Whaddaya think of

    key holders
    table place mats
    shoe brush
    hair brush
    alarm clock
    vegetable oil
    cutlery set
    jotters/sticky pads
    CD of the couple’s fave songs
    and yes ‘Poundo yam’

    I’ve received all these at weddings before 🙂

    • Madame Sting February 9, 2012 at 1:11 am #

      Ginger…noooo!!! Vegetable oil and Sardine?! O_o

      • lucidlilith February 9, 2012 at 9:56 am #

        lmao…i no fit oh!

    • Vera Ezimora February 14, 2012 at 7:06 pm #

      Buhahahahaha at the sardine and vegetable oil. LOl@ Now, that’s what’s up

  2. Dosh February 8, 2012 at 11:21 pm #

    hahahahaha the list and your comments are hilarious
    Instead of writing pad, you could do little notebooks… you don’t have to put your pictures on all the pages, just the hard cover. I got one at a wedding, used all the pages and still don’t have the heart to throw it away cos the couple’s picture is really beautiful.

    And i’m with your friend and ginger, if you’re going to have nigerians at your wedding then a small bag of semo or poundo will not be a bad idea at all. Your guests will really appreciate it.

    God bless your plans, wedding and marriage

  3. one3snapshot February 9, 2012 at 12:00 pm #

    chai laugh wan condemn my ribs o!
    I don’t even have any useful ideas. I sure wish someone gave me poundo as a wedding favor. that is one correct wedding.

  4. Myne Whitman February 13, 2012 at 1:43 pm #


    Have some of your cake gift wrapped, chikena.

    • lucidlilith February 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm #



  5. Vera Ezimora February 14, 2012 at 11:10 pm #

    Bia, Lucid, you’re very ungrateful oh! See the fine, fine list wey I combine for you, and you said no to every single one of them? That’s it!! I’m not compiling another list for you. But before I vex and leave, please do add the vegetable oil and sardines to the list. I’ve never received them, but I love the sound of them 😀

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