It has to get better than this….

8 May

I am not a big fan of formalities.  I am not a big fan of cliques either.  The reason is I hate playing a game where the rules have already been set especially when I was not part of the group setting the rules.  Hence I tend to do things with a little twist. To make it mine.

This wedding has gotten so urber traditional that I am constantly getting reminders and emails about using formal names and titles and blah blah frigging blah.  So what if I listed the best man as Jack instead of John.  Everybody calls him Jack.  He is known as Jack.  I am sure the heavens will not fall if I leave it as Jack.  Yeeeeeeeeeesh.   And is it necessary to have the moms escorted by males on their side of the family???  I switched that for a reason.  I wanted a twist.

*chants* Grant me the frigging serenity…

And if one more person tells me that it is my wedding and I can do whatever I want, I will have serious conniption.  If I can have whatever I want why am I not having a custom made stein for a beer toast instead of Champaign toast?  That is what I want…but…noooooooooo…MIL scratched that and had our flutes made already.

Last night EDJ and I were exchanging tweets about Stephanie Okereke’s wedding when I realized that the reason I was very angry about the direction of my wedding was because I had no support system from my side of the family.  None.

Sure I get the occasional call or email asking about how the planning is going and what I need from Nigeria.  Da heck?  The only thing I asked for was for my parents’ embassy appointment be made ON TIME.  (that did not happen…the appointment is scheduled for mid-June…and my hair is falling out at the thought of all this last minute stuff).  I asked for my sister to be Matron of Honor and her son to be my ring bearer, but my douchebag brother-in-law refuses to let her come to the United States for my wedding because they have already planned a family vacation next year.  I cajoled, cried and threatened to no avail.  That semi-illiterate son of a bitch decided that ONLY him would come to my wedding with two of his buddies.  I quickly uninvited his ass.  The only way he was coming to my wedding was with my sister in tow.  The family drama that ensued afterwards is one for soap operas…

I am no spring chicken and I am not a wilting flower either.  I can put up a good fight.  If I really wanted this wedding to be done my own way, it would have been.  But I promised Turtle that he would have exactly the type of wedding he wanted because in all fairness, I really don’t give a shit.  I could go to the Justice of the Peace and get it done in one afternoon and be okay with keeping the money I have spent so far in my savings where I have painstakingly kept it, foregoing vacations and brand new vehicles and better living surroundings.

So I will keep my promise and smile and be a traditional catholic bride with all the production that comes with it.  When you find someone whose happiness is more important than yours, things like this  cease to matter after a while.

I leave you with the observation of my boss:

“This wedding is making you paranoid.”


8 Responses to “It has to get better than this….”

  1. Ginger May 8, 2012 at 12:05 pm #

    You uninvited a bro in law?? What I will give to be a little birdie observing the madness. i wish i didnt have a cliche like ‘You’d be fine. but hey that’s all I can think of’. At least someone is happy – Turtle.
    Aha the guy in this video reminds me of Turtle…..:)

  2. taynement May 8, 2012 at 9:35 pm #

    When you find someone whose happiness is more important than yours, things like this cease to matter after a while.
    this right here shows maturity. kudos to you. And kudos to you for uninviting your BIL. Wth? why won’t he let your sister show up?

    Take it easy jare, wedding planning is not easy.

  3. EDJ May 9, 2012 at 4:11 pm #

    Good for you uninviting BIL. That is just some level of foolishness I can’t even imagine. HE should come to the wedding but not your sister? That is just cray cray.

    Kpele! If you can, I hear taking a mini-break/vacation/staycation pre-wedding is helpful. It shouldn’t be this stressful, but at least you are being mature about this like Taynement said!

  4. one3snapshot May 16, 2012 at 3:55 pm #

    wow. okay. na wa for Papa Chim-Chim (that’s the one you’re referring to right?)
    Keep reminding yourself that at the end of it all, your wedding will turn out beautifully. I can’t think of any bride who sailed through the wedding planning process, it really isn’t for the faint of heart, and I know you’re strong so hang in there 🙂

    • lucidlilith May 16, 2012 at 5:00 pm #

      mba! no be chimchim papa. Dis one na my senior sister husband. The man get as e be.

  5. Mamuje May 17, 2012 at 1:33 pm #

    Awwwwww dear. lemme give you a long distance hug. Whats this business about your BIL coming and your sister cannot. I am glad you uninvited him. Thats very wrong. Very, very, very wrong. Your sister being at the wedding should be a priority. I am so happy that you want Turtle’s happiness because that is a sign that you are meant for each other.

    In a few months time, when you are married. You will look back and see that its all worth it. Now SMILE darling 😉

  6. Myne Whitman (@Myne_Whitman) May 19, 2012 at 12:49 pm #

    It certainly gets better especially after it is done and dusted 🙂 Hang in there and don’t let anyone spoil your joy.

  7. sugabelly May 21, 2012 at 11:41 am #

    I just emailed you!!! Finally!!! I’m so sorry for the huge wait!!!! Hopefully you can smile from now on ^_^

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