Warning: This Post is a Novella

12 Jun

I started my wedding planning a year ago so that I could have a decent relaxing few weeks before the day.  You know what they say, if you want God to have a good laugh, tell him or her your plans.  So I told my family to get my parents their embassy appointments A YEAR AGO.  But like typical naija they lollygagged until the last minute.  When my parents failed to meet their 214B immigration policy (prove they will return … actually my mom forgot where I worked), I lost it.  After sitting in my the district director of my congressperson bawling my eyes out … (thankfully she understood the problem since her daughter just got married), I spent all day yesterday making copies, sending documentation to my congressman’s office so they could have the Justice Department re-interview my parents as soon as possible.  Eyin blogville please keep us in your prayers oh.  If they had interviewed six months ago they would have been eligible to re-interview again and hopefully get visas.  I now have a healthy distrust of having family members in Nigeria make plans for you.  I am soooooooo pissed.

Then – on  my way home – my physician called me.  Now  I love Dr. B but I was not in the right frame of mind.  She was calling because I had apparently been downing a lot more Vicodin than I usually do.  My stress pill Ativan seems not to be working so I had been relying more heavily on the Vicodin.

“Dr. B, I am so busy and stressed right now that I really don’t have the time to take care of my health.  I just need to get through this wedding.”

I should be doing better because two months ago, I picked up a copy of a young adult novel called ‘The Space Between’ about the adventures of Lilith and Lucifer’s daughter, Daphne and how she traveled to earth to save a suicide from entering hell.  For some reason, the book sent me into a tailspin.  I had a full blown panic attack and had to have emergency medication sent to my pharmacy.  After that episode, Dr, B called me in and handed me a bunch of prescriptions and said, “we are going to get you through July.”

But I digress.

Any way after I got home last night, I said to Turtle, “I am getting drunk tonight.”

“Buffalo Wild Wings?”

“Yup.  Let’s go!”

Now, I have not been drinking like I used to due to all the medications I have been taking.  So of course my tolerance level was dangerously low.  I slammed a Bahama Mama, then proceed to drink five cosmopolitans.

The last thing I remember is taking a shower and going to bed.

This morning I got up and the kitchen looked like there had been a food fight.

“What the heck happened?”

“Well,” he began, “When I found you, you were going through two bowls of rice and stew.  And you had chicken meat and bones in your hair.”

Me: *blank stare*

“Apparently someone can’t handle their booze.”

“I knew that was coming.”  I sniffed, tilting my head up in an attempt to appear dignified. “I am going to be late for work.”

Well.  I have had a lot happen lately, attended two wonderful showers and having a third today at work.  Yay!  I love gifts.

I visited Nashville a month ago and ate at the best Italian themed restaurant I have ever seen.

I met an aspiring singer.  I think her name is Ashley Edwards or something like that.  I hope she makes it.

Actually there were musicians everywhere.

Saw the Parthenon replica.  Impressive and totally not suited for Nashville.

I had to go bar hopping…….


All in all, a neat town.  Wish I thought of having my bachelorette party there.




5 Responses to “Warning: This Post is a Novella”

  1. BBB June 12, 2012 at 5:36 pm #

    i cant stop laughing at you going through two bowls of rice and stew.
    to think this is supposed to be the happiest easiest time, “SUPPOSEDLY”
    People are not dependable oh, forget that, if you want something done, have to do it your self, especially if it involves Nigeria in ANY way

  2. taynement June 12, 2012 at 9:48 pm #

    Nnenne biko take it easy oh. I hope your parents make it and so sorry again I can’t make it 😦

  3. Myne Whitman (@Myne_Whitman) June 13, 2012 at 12:43 pm #

    I hope your parents can make it. And chill dear, it will soon be August before you know it.

  4. Mamuje June 22, 2012 at 7:41 am #

    It is well darling.

  5. Amy June 25, 2012 at 5:55 am #

    Yikes. Hopefully your congresswoman can get your parents another interview. Prayers headed your way!

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