Reality of being pregnant.

20 May

It can wreck a marriage.  Especially  a marriage without a firm foundation.  Turtle and I have been arguing way more than usual.  I believe most of it is my fault.  My hormones are all over the place and the little emotional and physical energy I have left is not enough to go into the 24/7 job required to sustain a relationship.  Some days I feel like I just want to shoot a nail gun into my skull.  Some days jumping off a high ledge seems a good option.  Some days not waking up would not be a bad idea.  Hormones.  Coupled with untreated depression and anxiety does not a good wife make.


A few weeks back, my doctor yelled at me.  Yes.  Yelled.  I was told not to come back for any appointments until I saw a psychiatrist AND/OR a psychologist.  I don’t know what kind of vibe I gave off but apparently she said I was not ready for this baby psychologically.  I really don’t want to see a shrink right now but this falls into my next point; when pregnant, you have to be selfless.  If you are not, learn.

Life as you know it, ceases to be about you.  I am yet to fully comprehend the magnitude of this wise piece.  Besides the physical sacrifice of your once taut bosom and booty, you gotta cut your spouse some slack.  He may not be pregnant but he is dealing with the side effects, aka a bat shit crazy wife.  No matter what he does, he can’t win.  He never seems to be doing enough and the world is so unfair that he can drink a six pack and you can’t.  On a very bad day, imagining my hands squeezing his neck until he turns purple is very therapeutic.

My mom gave me good advice.  She said, ‘stop.  Just stop.’ Stop thinking, stop fighting, stop arguing, stop analyzing, just relax and breathe.  I wanted to scream at her but this is someone who had seven children back when there were no epidurals.  She weathered the storm and survived.  She also said, “it costs nothing to say ‘I am sorry.’ Nothing. Even when he is wrong.  Being calm right now is one of the best gifts you can give to your baby.”  Funny this is, since I heard that, I have felt a bit better.  And – I actually stopped myself from a few snarky remarks this morning.  Turns out, we all need a little attitude adjustment once in a while.

LL signing off at 25 weeks and only 14 lbs heavier than usual.  Not too shabby.



9 Responses to “Reality of being pregnant.”

  1. mpb May 20, 2013 at 6:00 pm #

    kpele oh….hope it gets better

  2. AliceDCL May 21, 2013 at 12:53 am #

    cant thank you enough for this, hope you finally go speak to someone, all these cant be good for the baby… happy mother happy baby

  3. Tee May 21, 2013 at 2:53 am #

    Sorry to hear you’re having it rough. Hopefully after the massive swelling that comes with the 3rd trimester seeing your cute little one will give you a rush of love and happiness. Your Momc’s advice is so spot-on!

    Hang in there!…15wks to go!!!(or however long it is to full-term in the US) and you little man is here.

    In the meantime I’ll keep putting in a word in for you with the big man


    P.S I would say more but I don’t want you to go preg-hormonal Kung-if on

  4. Ginger May 21, 2013 at 7:37 pm #

    Hugs LL. Hang in there.

  5. lohiog May 25, 2013 at 11:22 pm #

    Aww sounds like so much work to be pregnant! ughhh! You are almost there-ish!

  6. one3snapshot May 30, 2013 at 11:26 am #

    you’re almost there mama…almost there! remember how planning your wedding drove you crazy? and it all turned out well, this is even better….you get a bundle of joy!

  7. Mamuje June 1, 2013 at 8:03 am #

    Oh dear!

  8. FabuLola (@Fabulola) June 5, 2013 at 10:46 pm #

    First of all…CONGRATULATIONS!

    Second of all, I am glad someone is not romanticizing pregnancy like everyone else.
    I feel better informed.

    Good luck LL!
    Hang in there

  9. Eva B August 10, 2013 at 9:03 pm #

    Omg and Lol thanks so much for sharing. I felt the same way when I was prego in every way. The plight we have as women is crazy. My baby is 18m now and yes finally seeing your lovely baby and and the feeling of finally not being prego is the best feeling you can have in the world. But then the plight continues with the baby continuing to suck the life out of you if you breast feed, and everything still being on you. But hey you learn to love it hopefully cause your baby will always truly love you.

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