We found a pecker.

Went for my 14 week ultrasound two weeks ago. Thought it was a routine visit to make sure all was okay until the tech asked if I wanted to know the baby’s gender. I was like, “I thought you had to wait until 20 weeks?” Well, ladies and gentlemoimois, we found a pecker. Yeah, it is a boy. I was happy and disappointed all at once because I wanted a girl and Turtle wanted a boy. Of course he denies that now with the mea culpa “as long as it is healthy…” blah, blah, blah. Everyone seems happy it is a boy because … *cue eyeroll* … girls are so difficult to raise. I still find myself gravitating to the cute, little frilly dresses when I go shopping. Now I have to deal with a testosterone-infused environment in like a decade or two. I have five brothers. They were the most infuriating males ever. Still are to some degree hence my total dislike and distrust of boys. My sole aim in my life from now is not to raise an asshole. So help me God.

On other pregnancy news, I popped last week. For the uninitiated that is when your bump becomes visible to the naked eye. Not too big yet but it does put a lot of your pre-pregnancy clothes out of commission. I bought a few pants and skirts and rustled up a few tops that still fit. These should last me a month or two before I have to get the big guns. I eat every two hours and fall asleep at random times. Not fun. I pee so often that Turtle mentioned putting me on a toilet paper budget. Like, he really said that.

Last week, I went to pre-natal rehab for my chronic pain. I got off all my pain medication since they cause birth defects. I got off those meds cold turkey. This baby owes me a house in the future. My therapist is one of the coolest chicks I have ever met. During consultation, she put me on a walking track to gauge my performance. After two laps, she stopped me and said the only work-out I will be doing will be in a swimming pool. Apparently, I was wheezing and walking lopsided. I call it my preggie swagger. So come next week, I will be floating around in the pool during my lunch hour. Yay! Four months down, five to go.