Can’t believe a year …

..has gone by!

Turtle and I celebrated one year anniversary on Sunday.  Amazing how fast time flies.  I took the time to reflect on all the lessons I hadlearned the past year.  Marriage has taught me that it ain’t always about you.  In many cases, it is never about you.  It has taught me patience and that is important to listen.  It has taught me that your spouse is not the enemy.  It has made me a better person.  I have learned to keep my mouth shut because you lose nothing my doing so. (Thanks mom).

We went to church and had dinner at a local restaurant.  All in all, it was a nice day.  Turtle gave me a small anniversary gift.  It damn near made me cry:

Then we opened and ate the top of our wedding cake which we had frozen:

But lately, I have been feeling great!  It is like God finally pushed the suffering pause button and is allowing me to “enjoy” my pregnancy.  If ever there is such a thing. I have no aches or pains, I sleep fine, baby is growing fine, I eat reasonably and have had no swelling anywhere.  Yesterday, my doctor said I was one heck of a healthy pregnant woman.  The nugget aka Turtilla (as christened by Ginger) has been kicking up a storm.  His most favorite position is keeping his feet lodged in my rib cage.  His hiccups are daily and I wonder if the poor thing is just uncomfortable.  I hate hiccups.

Over the July 4 holiday, we went to Rochacha for Turtle’s dad’s birthday and our wedding shower.  Good times:

Meanwhile, mama got busy making onesies for the nugget:I had more alphabets available so I made another one:

My yankee folks, abi I lie?

Signing out at 32 weeks!

Hilarity of Being Pregnant

Ginger sent me a thoughtful email a while ago.  It made me feel so thankful to have people in my life that care about me, even people I have never met.  It also made me realize that I have worried a lot of people with my pregnancy angst.  Yes, it has not been easy.  But it has not been all bad either.  I just chose to focus on the negatives rather than the possibilities.

Believe it or not, pregnancy can have some humorous upsides.  For instance, when else can I get away with farting any time I damn well please?  Oh sorry, if you were not aware of this, pregnancy twists your digestive system in so many ways.  Constipation, hemorrhoids and farting is now the new normal.  This is why you marry someone who loves you to bits and still thinks your farting ass is sexy.

Sex becomes an adventure in creativity.  I am thankfully not a big pregnant woman.  I don’t know how that worked out for me because I have always thought I would end up like my mother.  Skinny as a child and expansive as an adult, but so far I have only gained 14 pounds.  This would worry me if not that my doctor told me she only wants me to gain 20 so I have 6 pounds to go.  Where was I?  Ah, yes.  Sex.  Trying to figure out what goes where when there is a bulbous item in the way can be hilarious if both of you were not so focused on getting busy.  We manage to get it done.

You get to cut in line.  People will bend over backwards once they see your poor weezy waddly figure in line.  Take it when you get the chance. People also stay away from you any way they can to give you room.  No one wants to accidentally bump into a pregnant woman.  I even had a colleague who was terrified to give me a ride.

The smallest ouch of discomfort creates panic.  I work with an all-male team and they never cease to amaze me with how clueless men are.  I honestly believe they are making this pregnancy worth it with their endless questions and wide-eyed curiosity.  Sometimes, just to freak them out, I show them my belly when the baby moves.  Soooo worth it…lol.

You become a Buddha.  Yes, beware the belly rubbers.  I have only been subjected to one stranger rubbing my belly but she was an elderly Hispanic lady so I was okay with it.  I would be freaked out if a young man or woman touches my belly just because I am not sure of their intentions.  Senior citizens somehow get a pass on the belly rubbing.  I think my scary afro makes rubbers think twice before rubbing my belly.  I do get a lot of “when are you due?” questions followed by, “Labor day???  Ha ha ha ha! *giggle-giggle-cackle-cackle*”  Yes.  God has a sense of humor.

No one judges you when you eat like a glutton.  Turtle was so tickled when I ordered him to stop at a random Chick-fi-A and then ordered a spicy chicken wrap and a small ice cream cone.  I ate both at the same time, taking alternate bites.  He took a picture.  I was not amused.  He seems to love the gluttonous me, especially when I wolf down a hot dog in three bites.  I never knew that was even possible.

You can sleep and laze around as much as you want and no one thinks anything about it.  At work, I spend most of my time at my desk, with my feet up.  The bigger I get, the more I am left alone.  At home, the recliner is now my domain.  I get dibs on any space I want.  Call me Queen LL.

That’s all folks!  I am 29 weeks and counting.  The final stretch never looked so good!

 

 

Reality of being pregnant.

It can wreck a marriage.  Especially  a marriage without a firm foundation.  Turtle and I have been arguing way more than usual.  I believe most of it is my fault.  My hormones are all over the place and the little emotional and physical energy I have left is not enough to go into the 24/7 job required to sustain a relationship.  Some days I feel like I just want to shoot a nail gun into my skull.  Some days jumping off a high ledge seems a good option.  Some days not waking up would not be a bad idea.  Hormones.  Coupled with untreated depression and anxiety does not a good wife make.

A few weeks back, my doctor yelled at me.  Yes.  Yelled.  I was told not to come back for any appointments until I saw a psychiatrist AND/OR a psychologist.  I don’t know what kind of vibe I gave off but apparently she said I was not ready for this baby psychologically.  I really don’t want to see a shrink right now but this falls into my next point; when pregnant, you have to be selfless.  If you are not, learn.

Life as you know it, ceases to be about you.  I am yet to fully comprehend the magnitude of this wise piece.  Besides the physical sacrifice of your once taut bosom and booty, you gotta cut your spouse some slack.  He may not be pregnant but he is dealing with the side effects, aka a bat shit crazy wife.  No matter what he does, he can’t win.  He never seems to be doing enough and the world is so unfair that he can drink a six pack and you can’t.  On a very bad day, imagining my hands squeezing his neck until he turns purple is very therapeutic.

My mom gave me good advice.  She said, ‘stop.  Just stop.’ Stop thinking, stop fighting, stop arguing, stop analyzing, just relax and breathe.  I wanted to scream at her but this is someone who had seven children back when there were no epidurals.  She weathered the storm and survived.  She also said, “it costs nothing to say ‘I am sorry.’ Nothing. Even when he is wrong.  Being calm right now is one of the best gifts you can give to your baby.”  Funny this is, since I heard that, I have felt a bit better.  And – I actually stopped myself from a few snarky remarks this morning.  Turns out, we all need a little attitude adjustment once in a while.

LL signing off at 25 weeks and only 14 lbs heavier than usual.  Not too shabby.