Sex in the Vatican?

During my blogroll visits, I read Sugabelly’s post on Igbo courtesans.  Some readers thought it was unlikely the Igbo societies ever had or tolerated courtesans so she made this comment:

Wherever there are men, particularly wherever there are wealthy, powerful men, there will always be groups of women that fuck them. It’s just the plain truth. It applies in ALL societies on Earth, in all time periods (well maybe except for Vatican City – but that’s a special case). Do you really think there isn’t some chick that’s getting jiggy with King Saud of Saudi Arabia as I type this?

I could not help but giggle at the idea of the Vatican as some sexless utopia.  Whatever is beneath the robes of cardinals and popes is definitely not wood – fyi.  These were men and they had needs, period.  History is full of  popes and their mistresses, lovers and illegitimate children.

Pope Alexander VI – worst of all popes had a dozen illegitimate children during papacy

Pope Julius – one daughter during papacy

Pope Pius – four children

Pope John Paul – three children before papacy

Pope Segius III – fathered Pope John XI

Pope John X – had a mother daughter affair

Pope John XII – deposed by conclave, killed by a jealous husband.

Pope Benedict IX  – resigned and got married

Pope Paul III – died having sex with a male page

Pope Sixtus IV – gay

Pope Leo X – gay

Pope Julius III – so gay

HOWEVER…for every morally corrupt man in the church, there were hundreds of pious men of God.

Vision 2010

Does anyone remember that government program called Vision 2010 that General Sani Abacha was trying to promote before magun got him?  I guess the vision went kaput with the man.  I have been thinking about this program all year because I remember thinking as a child that 2010 was so far away.  I mean who in their right mind would plan that far ahead.  Like – really.  But dang, it showed up fast.

Anyhue – this post is not about Abacha’s pet project.  It is about New Year resolutions.  Not for me though, I never make resolutions.  I just don’t have the temerity for such.  I just wonder why people make resolutions when they know that by the third week of January, all they resolved to do  would be a resolved to dont. 

 I find resolutions somewhat useless since I do constant self-assessments.  I look over what has worked in the past few months/quarter/season and figure out what to get rid of and what not to.  For two weeks now, I have been doing my self-assessments and a few of the things I found out about myself (okay, some I already knew about but I was in denial) really shocked me.  For one thing, I have found that any unhappiness or depression is never because of things that I do but rather how I react to those things and the fact that I am usually unwilling to change my situation because I value rituals and hate drastic changes.  So I have made a mental list of the things in my life that will definitely need to go ‘cus they are not working for me.

• Start speaking up about what I NEED.  Most of my frustrations are because I feel people deliberately do things in order to get me.  Not true.  If I communicated my NEEDs more efficiently to others most of my frustrations would not exist.  Unless the other individual is a complete @sshole.
• Talk about and do more of what is important to me.  I need to let people know about the things I am most interested in so they don’t waste their time trying to get me involved in things I don’t want to do.
• Get rid of old things so you can buy new things.  For example … my tattered gym clothes that make me look like a hobo, my old bras that won’t let me breathe, my sketchers which is one size too small…if I don’t throw out old furniture, I won’t have room for new ones. This also applies to negative thinking.  You need to get rid of old ways to thinking to make room for new ideas.
• If something does not feel right, I need to either change my attitude about it or change the situation.  Whining about it or getting frustrated about it is no longer an option. 
• Get rid of shame and/or guilt.  They are worthless emotions that drain my energy.
• Try not to make the same mistake twice. I am just too old for that.
• And my favorite: quit doing the same things over and over again while expecting different results. This oneliner is really hard because I am a creature of habit.

I am sure there are more that I will come up with as time goes on…but I just felt it would be a nice tidbit to share with you guys as you prepare your New Year Resolutions.

Bah Humbug Update

Yup!  It’s another holiday excess rant.  And this time, I am so mad at myself for making all these yeye plans instead of staying home and watching, “Hotelier,” “Freeze,” “Damo,” or “Full House.” (All K-Dramas), sipping Moscato or Riesling, snacking on BBQ rib tips and crab legs… oh joy to the friggin world! 

So, last Saturday, Turtle and I went to our favorite Mexican restaurant and over killer Texan Margeritas we budgeted for the holidays with the calculated the cost of gifts, (cards) and travel.  My total is about $1200.  And this is with my cutting of a lot of people from my list.  Most of the cost comes from travel; to Upstate New York and of course NYC to visit friends and Turtle’s family.  Hanging out alone in NYC is gonna cost us at least $400 per person.   I am upset at myself, yet I am excited about the fun I will have.  So maybe my Bah Humbuginity will be silenced while I am away, at least until I look at my bank statement. 

Looking forward to a five-day weekend y’all!  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!  Eat, drink and be merry.  And don’t forget to exercise those calories away.